tell me reality is better than a dream.
Thin-bodied and unimpressive, Clarke narrowly reaches the male average of 5’9”. Nonetheless, his weight and body leaves plenty to be desired to those searching for the “ideal” male body. The young man is flat-stomached to a degree of coming off as scrawny or unpleasantly skinny. He is known as more twiggy, Clarke’s limbs being considered bony and slender. This is heavily noted in his hands with Clarke’s fingers being long, slender and bony. These fingers have well-maintained fingernails, occasionally painted for his enjoyment. His complexion is pale in colouring, having somewhat sickly undertones. This is the result of Clarke never being a big fan of sunlight and tanning. Despite his present situation, Clarke has avoided scarring, however, he has been known to get wounded frequently. Beneath his clothes have been many instances of bruising or cuts and scrapes. Regularly, he claims clumsiness.
Facially, many considered Clarke nothing of particular interest. While being graced with the wondrous trait of high cheekbones, his skinny body tends to make these features appear sharper in contrast. He has a pointed, upturned nose with a slender bridge. A pair of thin lips maintains the thin features of Clarke’s countenance. From his scalp arrives a near-black hair with a grey-ish tinge of short hair with a single, longer straying bang. On the left side of his hair is a dyed patch of dark cyan swiped behind his ears. The colour often allows the many black piercings against it. However, the darkened colours of his hair frequently results in Clarke’s expressions appearing darker. Only adding to the aesthetic are a pair of dark cyan eyes, though, in certain lightings and the right emotions, Clarke’s eyes can appear brighter.
Darkened aesthetics cloak Clarke frequently because of his favourings. Regularly, Clarke wears black clothing or dark colours, occasionally with bright, popping accents. Under nearly all circumstances, Clarke keeps himself covered in clothes. He willingly wears long-sleeved shirts, pants and clothes, sometimes even throwing a sweater on. Being one for jewelry, Clarke frequently wears earrings. This is normally a pair of studs or a small, close loop to his ear. Across his helix he regularly wears cylindrical loops. He is known for wearing necklaces with charms, normally of animals, moons and stars. Clarke does enjoy glow in the dark jewelry, his favourite being a moon designed with varying metal patterning across a glowing stone. Warm, thick sweaters are a favourite of Clarke’s. However, his covering clothes arrive with darker intentions. A body, while scarless, riddled with bruises and small abrasions being hidden beneath them.
The genes of a nephilim grants Clarke the capability to summon a pair of crisp, dark grey wings. The feathers covering Clarke’s wings are soft. These large wings spawn from Clarke’s back and stretch large enough to allow flight.
Weather Manipulation -- Beginner/Unused
The ability to manipulate weather in small ways. Always, weather manipulation has been beyond Clarke because of his inability to maintain his emotions. These cause Clarke to have an effect on the weather in a small radius around him. In moments of little motivation or sorrow, there can be a misting of rain around him. When anger exists the air can grow hotter around him; if there is already rain, this can result in thunder and lightning. Meanwhile, in happiness it remains well tempered. Though, these effects are minimal and have never caused severe conditions.
Teleportation -- Beginner
The ability to teleport from one location to another. In his youth, Clarke was always hesitant to use his teleporting abilities. Scared of ending up lost or abandoned, he barred himself from the ability. However, given his recent circumstances things have only worsened for the young nephilim. The thought of using teleportation causes him a panic after being threatened many times by his abuser about never using it. Thus he refuses to use it, often being too nervous to even try out of fear his girlfriend would find out. If he tried, it would drain his energy quickly.
Curse/Charm Breaking -- Beginner
The ability to break both charms and curses. Never trained, Clarke struggles to even break minimal curses and charms. Without a reason to learn, Clarke has left the ability to be unused for the most part. Trying to use it would result in headaches and exhaustions as he attempts to understand breaking the curses and charms. Thus, he regularly avoids it even accomplishing the task.
Future Sight -- Mastered
The ability to view future events. Unlike a majority of individuals, Clarke’s future sight has always had a different functionality. When activated, Clarke is capable of viewing the possibilities within eyesight of him. However, more specifically, the manner of viewing is peculiar and lacking in context. When in his future sight mode, Clarke will see the items outline from where their possibilities start, creating a messy view of pictures with different coloured outlines. In environments where the situation is not contained, Clarke’s view can become disorienting and difficult to follow. Furthermore, due to the manner of viewing, all other senses are nonexistent. Regularly, Clarke’s future sight can operate for a maximum of a minute, however in less contained settings than can become shorter while in more contained higher. Pushing himself leads to a sensation of pressure behind the eyes and oftentimes a headache. The ability cannot be used in combat due to its methodology, however, Clarke has attempted to use it to gauge the impact of his words on others. This is normally done to his partner. However, the ability was originally learned from childhood fascination.
Wing Manifestation -- Advanced
The ability to manifest wings. From his back, Clarke can manifest a pair of dark grey wings. While the conventional treasure has been used for flight, Clarke never uses them for the purpose. Rather, he manifests them in order to create himself a small, protective space to calm down or relax when upset. These large wings are capable of wrapping around him, giving him a comfortable place to hide away. Nowadays, he becomes hesitant to manifest them because of threats of breaking them from his partner. He can manifest them in approximately 20 seconds, but is unable to fly on them from lack of training.
Healing -- Mastered
The ability to heal others or oneself through touch. The expectation to hide every bruise, cut, break and gash leads to the requirement to heal faster. Thus, Clarke is well-trained in healing others and himself. Severe wounds take longer to heal and consume more energy than minor wounds. The deeper the wound or more severe, the more difficulties Clarke may face in restoring the biological constructs to their original form. His healing allows him to restore his flesh to points where he will not scare. Oftentimes, he claims his proficiency comes from his severe clumsiness rather than the darkness of his home life. The more Clarke heals, the more energy gets drained. When healing himself or others, his hand needs contact with their body and he must focus. The closer contact is to the wound, the faster it may heal.
Blessings -- Advanced
The ability to bestow blessings upon others with physical contact. Once used originally for his closest friend whenever he wished, the ability has not lessened in use. In circumstances where his partner is being extra frightful, Clarke will try and cause positive vibes and moods to lessen her rages. Otherwise, the other blessings have become dormant and underused because of his present circumstance. Due to years of practice, Clarke can give people blessings with quickness, however, a quirk of his ability is he cannot stack blessings with exceptions of the other blessings cooperating with his sympathy and positive vibes blessing. His blessings give enhancements that only do very minimally. After using it a few times, Clarke will start growing tired and require sleep. He cannot bless himself.
Trigger Warning: Neglect, Abandonment, Domestic Abuse
Accidents happen, however, the response one has to these incidents should speak bounds about their decisions. A portion of people work wondrously under the consistenting ticking of a pending clock while others can hardly accomplish a suiting plan when given time. In the end, there would always be someone affected and sometimes someone hurt. Bridget and Quentin Emmons existed in the latter spectrum, unable to devise a plan despite possessing 6 months to ponder. An evening of irresponsibility led to a baby in Bridget’s belly. An unwanted drag-down to their party-crazy life, a meagre little spawn who meant nothing to the expecting parents. He was an accident, something that was never supposed to happen. The child was carried to term despite their disdain, and thus, Clarke Emmons was brought into the world. Birthed into a family who cared naught for his well-being or existence, he was not destined for happiness.
From his conception and birth, Bridget and Quentin despised their child. A child tied down parents, committing an ugly stranglehold in their opinions. The moment they brought him home, Clarke was launched into a position of seemingly endless lonesomeness. Infancy was greeted with a world cruel, yet, normalized. Cries in request for attention were natural, but met with briefness. A single request fulfilled followed by an angered “Now shut the fuck up!” before being roughly returned to his crib. He resided in a house of limited love, unable to provide him with anything beyond fulfilled needs and cruel words. He grew a child forced in conditions bound to bring him sorrows. He felt the unwantedness in his presence, experienced it first hand with the cruelty exhibited. Never had his parents wanted his attention and it leaked into actions. The few touches he received were valuable, the moments of freedom from his crib treasured. These exposures inevitably normalized the notions of being unwanted, the child being behind development and showing a lack of motivation from a young age.
As a toddler, Clarke was frightened of seemingly everything around him. Fear stirred inside his chest at the slightest raise of a hand or shout of a voice. A child forced into the realm of fear at a constant rate without a second thought. He held no value and through the days of his youth he would live whole-heartedly to those standards of belief. Everything accomplished was meaningless in their eyes and judged wholly without a second thought. Never given well-needed praise and always treated as the one with the least importance, Clarke struggled with self-esteem and anything related to it from a young age. Without significance to his parents, the child spent his days suffering in upset and being the victim of cruel words, harsh grabs and the occasional slaps without a second thought. An abused child neglected and treated something similar to garbage when all he wished was to survive and be happy. Though the neglect would reach new bounds the longer his parents stayed and grew sick of “raising” a kid.
On an early summer morning, Clarke woke to an empty house lacking clothes, food and even some furniture. Confusion showed in the child’s eyes as he crawled through an empty house, a meagre five years of age. He attempted to walk, stumbling about as he whimpered and searched for his parents. Despite their cruelness, Clarke held a slight care for his parents as people who filled their home with noise. Alas, in the deafening silence he could not discover a soul nor scrap of food. A child alone, frightened and hungry remained quiet in spite of it. Reduced to meagre whimpers as he wandered through the house, uncertain about the circumstance he was thrust into. Over the course of hours, the child grew hungry and thirsty, his whimpers only consuming his ears as he delved further into his upset. He felt himself growing weaker, tired and scared of his circumstance. He was lucky when a neighbour noticed his parents long-term absence and called authorities... from there, they discovered a weak, upset child amidst the filth of their home.
On that day, Clarke Emmons was picked up by CPS with the intention of placing him inside a home of care. In the meanwhile, law enforcement searched for his parents to charge them with abuse of their young son. Gradually, paperwork was sorted and the young child listened to promises of a better home, an improved life, feelings he craved through the countless years. The first home he was given dealt with a child anxious and shy. Someone who stole food and was frightened of the world around him suffocating him. The slightest raise of a hand and Clarke would flinch and withdraw, terrified of receiving the punishments he recognized from his past home. He struggled to gain closeness, though the slow work at his mental state gradually caused him to open up. He discovered sanction amidst their walls, gaining a hesitant comfort with the foster parents who cared about him. He was a frightened child searching for long-needed comfort. Yet, the earth was a shattering place for the young child as “adult things” happened and suddenly he was placed into a different household.
It kick started those sinister thoughts of being entirely unwanted. A quiet, well-behaved child, the foster parents believed Clarke was merely a good child in spite of his abuse. They treated him well, informing the worker assigned to Clarke that the young child was behaving excellently. Unfortunately, given the route the dark-haired boy walked along, it was considered that a child from an abusive home became well-behaved. In reality, Clarke was terrified of being abandoned once more. Of being left behind and forgotten by those around him without a second thought, to be proved as the worthless child his parents always claimed. It caused him to quiver in the night, his worries keeping him up. Through the days, Clarke attempted to become as helpful as possible in prayers of proving his worth. He felt there was nothing else he could accomplish to avoid being abandoned. Those days spent in an empty house or between transit from foster home to foster home were concepts he wished to avoid.
Alas, several times over, Clarke discovered the worse outcomes as announcements reached his ears about heading off to the next foster home. Many believed him a benevolent, understanding child in regards to the circumstance, when in reality he suffered. Anxieties suffocated him, gaining a stranglehold on the child and depression pressed down upon his shoulders. While these symptoms surfaced, perhaps their ignorance kept them from believing some stability was well-required. In his struggles, he never mentioned his disdain for being moved around from the different foster home, rather, he masked it. The last wish he had was burdening those around him and being despised as a result... thus he never spoke a word and handled the emotions himself. Failure to do those achievements meant further changing of hands in Clarke’s mind, therefore, he refused to inform those around him. However, things only proceeded to worsen with every passing day... until he met him.
Lake Pilgrim was a child when Clarke first met him. Gradually, Clarke gathered a closeness to the lighter haired man as he clinged to his newest constant. The ever-shifting world around him became easier with a single constant of his closest friend. He discovered a little more stability with Lake’s presence. The comfort of having a friend around him allowed him to breath deep and easily for a few precious moments. The young boy spent plenty of days playing with Lake for the escapism of feeling wanted, safe and welcomed. These opportunities bettered Clarke’s mental health, however, the hardships never ended by simply meeting and connecting with another individual. Through the years, Clarke was plucked from foster home to foster home without a place he could truly call home. It resulted in many instances of upset with Clarke concerned about how wanted he was in the lives of others. Though, it was Lake that allowed him to soothe those intense concerns.
Despite the ever-shifting waters of foster homes and CPS workers, Clarke began maintaining a sense of emotional stability with his presence. The comfort he felt around Lake allowed him to survive the suffocating Hell of his homelife. The feelings of being wanted, it meant everything to a child that never experienced those well-needed feelings. He was heavily connected with the wonderful man, his eyes fixated on him. It began with a powerful friendship that left his heart fluttering endlessly and his cheeks brightening with a smile. Everything about the circumstance with his friend made Clarke happy, and after years of being alongside his closest and only friend. Inevitably, Clarke’s feeling grew intense towards Lake with every second the pair spent together. He was a young teen crushing on the man he would revere with absolute excellence and grace. When he gazed upon him, his eyes shone and when he heard his voice, his heart danced inside his chest. It granted him feelings of bliss and happiness.
Yet, worlds crash into millions of pieces as reality claims the precious happiness discovered in his connection with Lake. The day the news was delivered to his ears became the among the worst days of his life. He remembered the awkward frown as he nodded and shared sorrows alongside Lake Pilgrim. The twisted fate that suffocated his life summoned a sense of sorrow inside Clarke as the thoughts haunted him. As the day approached, Clarke clung to his dearest friend as much as he could. All his wishes for attention and care escalating as with every second ticking by. He cared about Lake and liked him intensely as his crushing feelings engulfs him. Alas, when the day arrived, Clarke discovered himself diving deep into the waves of his depression. He watched the day he left, sharing those crucial final sentiments before watching him walk away. With his absence, Clarke’s depression worsened as he struggled without the person he clung to intently. It made him the perfect victim to her.
A woman named Janice Barlows noticed the lonely teen and began aggressively flirting with him. At first, he resisted, remembering his preferences and still heart broken from Lake’s leave in his life. Perhaps she detected him as a marvellous victim with his attitude and mannerisms through the days they talked. Though a child treated as worthless began believing his happiness meant nothing to anybody in the world. As these beliefs hefted onto his shoulders, crushing the young man... he agreed... He agreed to date someone he never held feelings for, who was not among his gender preferences all because he felt his life was worth nothing in the end. The start of their relationship was greeted with heavy expectations with her demands being treated as the most important, and he listened. He went along with it all and dated her through the rest of highschool, dated her through his college years and eventually moved in with her... and that was when it all grew horrid.
Everything before moving in was relatively manageable, but the moment Clarke crossed the threshold, he was greeted with a demanding, angry and abusive woman. He was expected to play to her drums and accomplish whatever she requested without a second thought. Failure meant a sharp hit or bruise-manifesting grab of the arm. She controlled him, hitting him when he failed, manipulating his feelings, insulting and degrading him… her words would result in the genuine beliefs of his worthlessness. He mattered naught and he was lucky to have her in his life. The amount of times he weakly smiled and nodded his agreement was plentiful as he was smothered under her treatment. He was lucky to have her… He was worthless, meaning having someone at all was pure luck. She was better than nobody in the end. No matter how much she hit him, yelled at him, degraded him and manipulated him, he told nobody… because he was worthless, why should it matter in the end?
Likes: Art, music, video games, rain, night, star gazing, cozy blankets, hot chocolate, sleeping in, stuffed animals, pocky, tea, coffee, dark rooms, scented candles, animals, caramel, bubble bath, umbrellas, turtleneck, hair dye, earrings, jewelry, ramen, snow globes, computers, light-up keyboards, glow-in-the-dark stones
Dislikes: Being alone, being uprooted/moving around, presenting, being spotlighted, mashed potatoes, knee socks, skimpy clothing, pay-to-win games, salad dressings, cigarettes, loud noises
Fears: Being abandoned, being unwanted, negative opinions, being useless, crowds, being hit
- Due to his time in foster care, Clarke has developed plenty of mental issues. He is diagnosed with minor depression and anxiety. Further stemming from his anxiety is acute abandonment issues and a large heaping of insecurity issues.
- Clarke is known for occasionally having low days where he cannot find the motivation to leave bed.
- Despite being homosexual, Clarke is in a “serious” relationship with a woman. This was because of her constant pushing and his need to cease the loneliness in his heart.
- Originally, Clarke planned on being a doctor, however, soon realized he would struggle with patient interaction and the delivering of horrid news. As a result, Clarke began studying to become a Health Information Technician. Thus, he inputs patient information, including other health records information including insurance claims and assuring the compliance of privacy laws.
- The abuse Clarke has received is shown at times in minimal ways. When someone raises a hand at him, he has been known to flinch and glance away. Similarly, he has been jumpy when responding to others.
- Clarke enjoys drawing and writing as a coping mechanism. He is good at both, however, never considered a career in either.
Clinical Depression: For Clarke, this is considered relatively minor. His depression causes the dropping of his mood and though medication has been used to edge off the effects, they are more of a coping mechanism. Most critically, Clarke’s depression results in days where his motivation plummets and leaving the covers is considered a strenuous task. This derives from a mixture of fatigue and at times a belief getting up is not worth it; in extension, that he is useless or unable to do anything right. Frequently, this has locked him in a position of low self-esteem and has caused him to be pessimistic. These feelings can even result in difficulties focusing, Clarke being known for occasionally staring off into space. In some instances, this interrupts his sleep, keeping him up for portions of the night with pessimistic thinking. It is noted this mental illness reared its horns in Clarke’s adolescence and according to his family’s medical history, has been a chronic illness to plague his family. It is good to note that despite his depression Clarke does not exhibit traits of suicidal thoughts, ideation or actions. However, he has had contemplations of disappearing and ponderings of how much better off everyone would be without him.
Social Anxiety Disorder: Resulted from a tumultuous past of being neglected, abandoned and moved around through foster care, it hastily manifested itself into a disorder. This gave Clarke a severe fear of judgement or burdening others. In conversation, he is known for fixating on the thoughts of other people. This can cause Clarke to avoid social situations or exhibit signs of distress when those situations are unavoidable. Under most situations, this consists of nausea brought about by stressed nerves. Instances where his anxiety can reach lengths of causing trembling, however, this notably occurs should Clarke be “spotlighted”. Regularly, the disorder is triggered by concerns over concepts of people despising him and abandoning him. Therefore, causing him a distinct fear of negative opinions along with the effects those negative opinions may have. Under all circumstances, this does cause Clark’s heart rate to elevate and his muscles show tenseness. This only truly changes when Clarke manages to become comfortable around the person, however, the worry of becoming too much always exists in the back of his mind.
☆ RP EXPERIENCE
about 9 years
☆ OTHER CHARACTERS
My Who’s Who
☆ FACE CLAIM
Nijisanji, kai mayuzumi
THIS CHARACTER BELONGS TO CHIBI MAGICIAN. DO NOT STEAL.
MADE BY ★MEULK