Jul 14, 2020 21:07:22 GMT -6
526 WORDS
@krisune2
BY MINNIE OF GS
WHY CAN'T THEY LEAVE,
There were times where every piece of strength crumbles beneath somebody because of how much they struggled. Harsh talons of his depression ripped into his shoulders, weighing down on his back. He craved escape, somewhere he could release his troubles and finally leave those suffocating emotions from his mental illness. As he walked down the sidewalks, Umberto discovered trepidation inside his heart. He worried his beloved Silas would be upset with the actions he took this evening when he worked…
Promises were made, the type designed to finally banish alcohol from his life and assure he could walk the path of good health. Yet, Umberto found himself walking forward, worrying about being a burden to his magnificent boyfriend. The redhead placed plenty of faith in him, desiring to assist in the blue-haired man’s recovery. Through his walk, he contemplated, emotions tearing him apart with every step Umberto took towards the infamous Golden Crown. He chastised himself for his actions, yet, his footsteps carried him further.
The warmth of the summer evening embraced the young familiar as he walked the sidewalks. Occasionally, his gaze would falter, noticing other people, some holding a grin across their faces as they enjoyed the evening... He should not be doing this... The blue-haired man’s lower lip slipped beneath his upper set of teeth as he anxiously chewed his lower lip. Every fibre of his heart knew he would be breaking promises he made Silas, alas, his mind insisted in no other escape being available for the desperate man.
Gradually, he moved through the sidewalks, his feet quietly tapping on the concrete. The noise crept over him, reminding him how closer he drew to disappointing the man he loved... Then again was that not all he was? A giant stain of disappointment. He failed to protect his precious husband, his duty as a familiar unsuccessful. Everything he was assigned to accomplish was protection based, yet, when Silas slinked out of bed and attended a mission... he failed to bat an eye. The guilt ate away at Umberto’s core as pushed forward.
The wolves inside his head, they cruelly played their games. Claws and teeth bearing into his mental state, forcing him into a depressive state. He walked forward, noticing the lit sign of the infamous Golden Crown. He pushed the door open, crossing the threshold and entering the familiar scene. The scent of liquor burned into his power nose while the sounds of laughter echoed in his ears. He hated himself for merely entering the place. For a moment, Umberto stood motionless, staring at the decorum, reminding himself he should leave while the opportunity presented itself...
Instead, he stepped forward, approaching the counter with traces of nervousness marking his steps. He could turn back... the opportunity for redeemability existed... yet he carried himself forward to the counter with figurative wolves gnawing at his ankles. What made him tick and enter this low? Those menacing thoughts of unworthiness, the adamant belief of being ill-suitable to those he loved and the constant memories of failures... He wanted to drink those all away, as though the answers revealed themselves at the bottom of a bottle.
Promises were made, the type designed to finally banish alcohol from his life and assure he could walk the path of good health. Yet, Umberto found himself walking forward, worrying about being a burden to his magnificent boyfriend. The redhead placed plenty of faith in him, desiring to assist in the blue-haired man’s recovery. Through his walk, he contemplated, emotions tearing him apart with every step Umberto took towards the infamous Golden Crown. He chastised himself for his actions, yet, his footsteps carried him further.
The warmth of the summer evening embraced the young familiar as he walked the sidewalks. Occasionally, his gaze would falter, noticing other people, some holding a grin across their faces as they enjoyed the evening... He should not be doing this... The blue-haired man’s lower lip slipped beneath his upper set of teeth as he anxiously chewed his lower lip. Every fibre of his heart knew he would be breaking promises he made Silas, alas, his mind insisted in no other escape being available for the desperate man.
Gradually, he moved through the sidewalks, his feet quietly tapping on the concrete. The noise crept over him, reminding him how closer he drew to disappointing the man he loved... Then again was that not all he was? A giant stain of disappointment. He failed to protect his precious husband, his duty as a familiar unsuccessful. Everything he was assigned to accomplish was protection based, yet, when Silas slinked out of bed and attended a mission... he failed to bat an eye. The guilt ate away at Umberto’s core as pushed forward.
The wolves inside his head, they cruelly played their games. Claws and teeth bearing into his mental state, forcing him into a depressive state. He walked forward, noticing the lit sign of the infamous Golden Crown. He pushed the door open, crossing the threshold and entering the familiar scene. The scent of liquor burned into his power nose while the sounds of laughter echoed in his ears. He hated himself for merely entering the place. For a moment, Umberto stood motionless, staring at the decorum, reminding himself he should leave while the opportunity presented itself...
Instead, he stepped forward, approaching the counter with traces of nervousness marking his steps. He could turn back... the opportunity for redeemability existed... yet he carried himself forward to the counter with figurative wolves gnawing at his ankles. What made him tick and enter this low? Those menacing thoughts of unworthiness, the adamant belief of being ill-suitable to those he loved and the constant memories of failures... He wanted to drink those all away, as though the answers revealed themselves at the bottom of a bottle.
- - those painful memories I hold.